Let Go- When It All Fades

Have you tried to to let go of something in life, move past a tough time but simply couldn’t? Maybe its failing a try out, getting into an argument with a friend, failing an exam, a break up perhaps. No matter what techniques you implement to move on with your life, those memories or signs of the tough times in life keep showing back up. What I’ve found out in life is that so often in life, when we let go, we only want to do so partially. We try to let go of it when it hurts, but when we feel lonely or doubt creeps up in our mind, we reach back for a time that once was. Imagine the events in your life that you try to move past are like a yo-yo. You toss it down, as hard as you can, thinking it’s gone out of your life for good. But as is the nature of the yo-yo, before you realize it, it returns and is apart of us again. Letting go fully can be scary because even if the mistakes and past times in life are detrimental to us, it can hurt to lose something that has been a part of your life for so long.

One of our spec camps Josh Soulliere reflects on his experience of letting go

New School, New Me?

When I first think of the idea “Let Go”, I think of my freshmen year of high school. Just like as in middle everything changed, I went from a small private middle school with a graduating class of twenty four to a public high school   With less than half of those twenty four friends. All I could think about was how good my old school was and how I missed it. These thoughts put limits on me. I became less interactive both inside and out of class. I became more sheltered and seclusive and limited talking to others. It wasn’t until half way through that harsh year of school that my friends Hunter and Nina encouraged me to try to enjoy the moment. I began to let go of the past and my longing for it and began to live my life. By deciding to let go, not to forget or to ignore, of my past I began to take steps towards a happier life. I soon afterword began to make strong friendships with all these strangers in school, which I still have today. I don’t know if I would be the same person today if I hadn’t let go and moved on. I don’t even know if I would have the same relationships I have today if I hadn’t made such a decision. One thing is for certain, I am glad I was able to let go to move forward.

Have Hope!

This scripture from this week comes from the book of Jeremiah. Chapter 29:11 “ I will bless you with a future filled with hope—a future of success, not of suffering.”

Let It Fade

The focus video for this week comes in the form of a music video by Jeremy Camp. May the words inspire your spirit and help give you the courage to let go of what you’ve been holding for so long.

Comfort in God

I am a strong believer that Love is the reason we exist. I believe that God created us to understand and experience the paramount feeling, and to express it in such a way that He does; So we can become more like Him. You don’t have to agree with that in the slightest, but with that being my philosophy to guide me through my days, you can imagine that I took, and still take, human relationships very seriously. I poured my heart and soul into every conversation I possibly could despite who it was I was conversing with solely because I wanted to grow with anyone and everyone who’s path crossed mine due to the idea that God created me to love the way He does. With this in mind, I am sure it isn’t surprising that I took my romantic relationships seriously as well and expected them to last forever every time. Not only because I was 16 and naive, at the time my story I am about to tell took place, but because I was in it for the long run. I would willingly look past tragic flaws and convince myself that these qualities in them didn’t exist. I think it is safe to say that I am a helpless romantic; I believe that when I am dating a boy, God placed them in my life because they are the one. To some that sounds crazy, believe me I think it’s crazy myself, but that’s just how I am. At times it helps such as in forgiveness, but it is perhaps also my greatest downfall. Here is my story: I  met a boy my freshman year of high school. This boy taught me to truly love and I spent the following three years with him. We grew close to Christ, and to each other. He made me feel genuinely beautiful, made me laugh on my most somber of days, and always believed in me. I of course was convinced he was the one. I gave him every ounce of my heart; He became the center of all my thoughts and of course, I loved him unconditionally. We planned our whole entire lives together and held on through every trial that came our way because we both agreed that we were the love of each other’s lives and that one day we would get married and start our own family. We dreamed on a grand scale and were determined to make them into a reality.  But then one night, he changed his mind. He left me. After three years of loving, sacrificing, patiently waiting, and of course ceaselessly praying, he left me. He found another girl and decided she was worth more than the plans we made. However, he didn’t leave quietly, he left me with an ounce of hope, saying he would be right back, and of course my stubborn heart and mind held on and clung to it with all of my life. I spent the following six weeks mostly in bed because it didn’t feel real. I didn’t want to know what life was like without him. The world seemed gray and I often questioned God’s reason behind it all. I was lost and my eyes were permanently swollen from the tears that stained my pillow that my eyes then lacked. For six months I was devastated. The plans we made were gone. The songs we used to sing made me cry. The hours we would spend talking were now spent in silence. His vanishing act, to me, was the crime of the century, and for some unexplainable reason he remained unaffected and I was left as the victim, asking God why he had to leave.

One night, I crawled into bed and immediately fell apart. I grasped the railing of my bed and cried my self into an anxiety attack. I couldn’t breathe, and having experienced this before, I cried harder when what would’ve stopped it before wasn’t working this time around. After minutes of being unable to breathe properly, my vision started to go; Life became crystallized and soon after everything began to fade. This caused for apprehension and I prayed because I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I prayed to escape this locality and to fill my lungs with air again. I slowly regained full vision as my mind went from focusing on the current situation to centralizing around my talking to God. As my outlet to him proceeded, my breathing slowed down and my heartbeat began to take a more languid pace. As always God took a hold of me. I prayed to him and told him I didn’t want to see any more nights that were similar to these. I told him my fears and I told him what I carried in my mind and what consumed my heart as if he didn’t already know. That night I told God I was ready to let go. I prayed to him to guide me through the rest of my days and to lock my gaze on him. I prayed for hope and to remind me that love exists and that it isn’t bad to date with marriage in mind, because it isn’t. (That is the end goal, right?) That night God took my worries off of my chest and I could breathe again. I let go of the plans I had with this boy and accepted the brighter future God had laid out for me. I trusted in him, and I Let Go. God gave me a love that the world could not offer and He took my broken heart and mended it. He promised me a brighter future.

This story might be hard to relate to for some who read it, but I imagine everybody has suffered loss and has grown bitter over it at some point in your life. If you haven’t, I am slightly envious because it is a pain unlike any other and I pray, for you, that when the time comes, it is easy for you to accept. I pray that if you are bitter over the loss of something, and the pain from its vacancy resounds throughout your days, that you ask God for the strength to Let Go. In Romans 8:18, Jesus tells us “The pain that you have been feeling cannot compare to the Joy that is coming.” It doesn’t seem believable, I know, but it is. Happy Holidays everybody, and may God bless you always and abundantly.

-Sydney Leal

Sending Forth

As you through out this week into the holiday and time spent with family and friends alike, find solace in the peace that Christ brings, in the comfort and blessings of community. The serenity prayer is one used in many organizations and support groups in which people are trying to let go and change. May it be a blessing to you as well.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,The courage to change the things I can,And the wisdom to know the difference.”

Blessings, and Happy Thanksgiving!

-Damon

The Labeling Affect

This year spec we spent a couple of spec today classes focusing on letting go of image and judgement. These two things, though not done on consecutive days are very much connected. In life, so much judgement we may feel from others, that we may place on others, is based image. Image is so multi faceted, made up of what we think of ourselves, what others think of us and how we internalized. So often, it can affect the way we live life.

A Hallowing Experience

I found myself a few weeks ago on Halloween sitting at a McDonalds. A few friends and myself decided to take advantage of the new all day breakfast. Few things as amazing as pancakes for dinner. I remember as a child on those rare occasions my grandmother would take my brother and I to McDonalds before church and how excited we would get. As we sat, noted a string of students, both young and old coming in and out of the restaurant. There was such a wide variety of customs. Pirates, doctors, zombies, some I would wear, and others that didn’t look to comfortable. As I refilled my cup before getting ready to depart, I saw a small boy enter all dressed up with his mom. He smiled at me so I knelt down and asked him what he was dressed as and his favorite thing about Halloween. He was someone from a movie I had never heard of but his reason why is what was profound to me. He said Halloween was his favorite because it gave him a chance to dress up and go as someone else.

What a revelation. What would we give if we could choose the day, maybe once a week, a year, once in a life time to go as someone else? To leave our insecurities, our fears, our uncertainties and failures behind and go as our ‘dream selves’, go as someone we feel has an image, and labels that we would approve of and others would approve of.

Scripture

You are the one
who put me together
    inside my mother’s body,
14 and I praise you
    because of
the wonderful way
    you created me.
Everything you do is marvelous!
    Of this I have no doubt.

15 Nothing about me
    is hidden from you!
I was secretly woven together
    deep in the earth below,
16 but with your own eyes
    you saw
    my body being formed.
Even before I was born,
you had written in your book
    everything I would do.

Who Are You?

As our scripture tells us, everything that God does is marvelous, including creating each and everyone of else. We may make mistakes, hurt those we love, fall short of our goals, but we will always be wonderfully created and loved in the eyes of God.

Yet in our daily lives of work, school, sports and so many other things we encounter labels. So often we hear, “you’re fat” or “you don’t be long here” from others. So often the hardest labels to shake may be ones we place on ourselves, “I’m not good enough”.

The video posted below offers a new perspective on these labels and the affect they have on our lives.

Making Sense of it All

After watching the video you may ask, are all labels a bad thing? A perspective I had not considered even after watching the video until I shared the experience with a friend. As I sat in community with a few members of my congregation and with many others gathered online from countries around the world, I sat in awe. My friend Kevin spoke with passion and a desire in his heart to make sense of it all. He said I am proud to be who I am. He spoke of the pride felt for the things he has accomplished and why wouldn’t he be? And why shouldn’t we strive to succeed and appreciate the hard work we have done as we look back on life as it was and prepare for life as it might be, could be. I’ve learned in this life that like most things we experience, labels and judgements are what you make of them. That while words can sting, hurt us, and may always retain their power, we can relish and find comfort in knowing that we are loved.

So as you go throughout your week, remember that, there are some labels that you can wear proud. Be it that we are christians, flawed, imperfect but filled with love. Disciples prepared each day to serve others and to create community.

Campers, staff and whomever else may read this, I wish you a blessed week.

-Damon